Where Did I Go??

To make a long story short, college life took priority over blogging, and so here I am three months after my last post, trying to think of how to sum up the past several weeks without being too verbose. Oof. It’s been quite an eventful term so far, and due to Thanksgiving break, there is only one full week of school left, then finals, and then winter break. The quarter system is a bit odd that way–you get Thanksgiving break as a sort of teaser of what’s too come, then you must plunge right into dead week and finals before emerging at the end of the tunnel, hopefully unscathed. So here is a very brief list (be proud of me for restraining from too much verbal vomit) of what I’ve been up to lately…

  1. Reading The Taming of the Shrew, Titus Andronicus, Richard III, and Hamlet for my Shakespeare class. It’s been an excellent course so far–it is essentially a book club-type class in which we all sit around, over-analyzing every iota of the dialogue, laughing at puns, and making jokes about how absurd some of the characters/plots seem from a cynical 21st century perspective. It’s great.
  2. Joining an African dance class/performance ensemble for the fall term in the dance department and gaining a deeper appreciation of the strength and cardiovascular capacity required by this particular dance form. Not only that, but also learning just how rich and complex the history of African dance is.
  3. Taking a dance somatics class and realizing that when you’ve trained yourself to repress and smother certain emotions as a result of past events, they are bound to pop up again someday as a result of deceptively “simple” exercises.
  4. Successfully applying for and gaining residency status at the U of O, resulting in a 2/3 tuition decrease starting next term in January and hopefully continuing until I graduate in June 2017. I’ll still be in debt for several years after graduating (let’s be honest here), but any discount helps!!
  5. Learning that one of my good friends will be getting married next year in December and feeling simultaneously happy for her and in slight disbelief at the fact that yes, I am 22 now and yes, people do get married in their early twenties. Let’s just say that’s not in my near future.
  6. Feeling grateful that two of my dance-related classes required us to keep a notebook throughout the term to track our progress/thoughts/ideas–because writing always makes me happy, and I’m not always the chattiest person in class, so I tend to make up for that in these notebooks.
  7. Spending hour upon frustrating hour trying to choreograph movement for my dance composition class, then deciding I simply suck at choreography and will always hate everything I create (melodrama at its finest), then realizing I need to get over myself and just try anyway because it’s good for me to be challenged and pushed to my edge. And because drowning in self-pity will get me nowhere.
  8. Watching Poltergeist and Insidious for the first time about a month ago, because I actually don’t mind watching horror movies by myself on Halloween in a dark room. They were both decent, but nothing too special in my opinion. Also attempting to watch Pitch Perfect and getting through most of it, but then turning it off and wondering why it got such rave reviews. Maybe I’m just past the point where I can watch those type of movies without feeling disappointed by the plot holes and unrealistic characters and numerous cliches/stereotypes. Or maybe I’m just a wet blanket who doesn’t know how to have fun?
  9. Continuing to create and experiment with different vegan recipes and sampling new products that are widely available because I live in the hippie town of Eugene. I recently bought the dairy-free Daiya chives and onion cream cheese, and I was definitely impressed. Of course, it’s been a while since I had regular cream cheese, so I’m not sure how it tastes in comparison, but I thought it was tasty.
  10. Continuing to be a bit of a hermit on the weekends, only going out to ballet classes, yoga, grocery shopping, or working at my nanny job. But hey, not being a party animal leaves more time for homework and studying, and I never have to worry about waking up hungover or unable to recall the previous night’s events, so that’s a plus in my book.

And here are some photos of random things: vegan pizza I made, a sunset, an amusing story from a philosophy book, my current computer background (isn’t it great?), a Pearls Before Swine comic strip, one of my favorite Demotivators, and evidence that Shakespeare was using the word “holla” centuries before it became popular slang.

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We’ll see when I get around to creating another post–until then, I’ll be busy wrapping up this fall term of college. However, I’m hoping to post more during the winter break, though I can’t make any promises…Oh, and I’ll leave you with something I stumbled upon while looking through my dance improvisation journal from last winter term in January–we were told to write the “story of me” in a streams-of-consciousness manner, as quickly as possible, just writing down whatever words and phrases came to our minds. So this is what I came up with–obviously, the story of my life is far longer and more complicated, but we did have a limited amount of time to write this 😉

Running around with dirt on my feet, sun on my face, the laughing of my siblings ringing in my ears. The warm touch of a dog’s fur on my skin, such faithful companions they are. Spending hours writing down stories, the words forming in my mind and spilling onto sheets of blank paper combined with childish illustrations. Fear and grief penetrate my mind when my siblings are ill, when my dogs die in a car crash, when storms threaten the safety of my home. Plum juice running down my face, embarrassment heating my cheeks when my older sister teases me about a boy who supposedly “likes” me. Rows and stacks of books fill me with joy, happiness, excitement, peace. The words, spoken by my mother, fill my mind with images of mountains, palaces, dragons, magic phoenixes, carpets, wizards, hobbits, lions. Dancing, dancing, pointing my feet, working on my splits, spreading that dreaded makeup on my face. Playing the peacemaker, mediating arguments that I cannot solve on my own. Trees, flowers, forests, creeks, mountains–green everywhere, infusing me with peace and calm. A sense of unease bubbling beneath the surface, a sense of inadequacy haunting me with every step. Shyness, introversion, shrinking away from social interaction. Crashing waves, salt water, an endless walk along the beach, sea shells reminding me of happy times. Losing control, can’t lose control, must control EVERYTHING. Skinny limbs, thin hair, a slave to my own obsessions. Absorbing the emotions of those around me, soaking up stress, anger, frustration, sadness like a sponge. But the crashing train wreck begins to slide back on track, confidence and joy begin to wedge their way back into the foggy void. Still progressing, still changing, still learning. 


One thought on “Where Did I Go??

  1. Enjoyed reading all of this so much. Thank you for sharing from your heart and your life. You are a woman of substance and beauty. ♡

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